lunes, 22 de febrero de 2010

the gods

There was a time when the gods share with the people there were helping each other all the time. there were good and bad gods. the king of the good gods was named imperius he was like a hero for all the people and some not so famus gods. and his brother in fernus was the king of the badgods he was like a ghost and he had a lot of folowers.the king of the bad gods atack his brother all the time, his brother dont want to fight but he cant let him atack. so one day he playned a plan to destroy infernus and his group. some humans want to help the good gods to kill infernus so they go to his castle. but one of the guards of infernus discovered them so he advice all the other bad boys. and it starts the greatest war in all the universe. at the end of the war there die like 20 good gods and 49 bad gods and die like a million people at the end it was only infernus and the middle of the good gods.so imperium give an oportunity to infernus to give up hae acept but after one week he escaped from the olimpus.

3 comentarios:

  1. the incorrect things:
    in fernus:Infernus
    attacked
    killed

    ResponderEliminar
  2. Benja, the story is good is nice but you have mistakes like:
    you don't say famus you say famous, it is not atack it is attack with double t, it is not attack it is attacked.
    Nice story!:D

    ResponderEliminar
  3. your story was very good and meaningful but:
    pay attention to the capital letters.
    there are also some spelling mistakes such as:
    * badgods
    * playned
    * famus
    * tack
    * folowers
    * acept
    there is one grammar mistake that i noticed that is:
    * some humans want to help.....
    please correct the verb tenses.
    thak you

    ResponderEliminar